Being Silent

We all have opinions.  We all have voices.  Sometimes, we don't want to share our deepest thoughts.  Sometimes, we do.

What are the mediums to do this?

Social media.
Podcasts.
Opinion pieces.
 
Something that I often joke with my husband about is becoming a YouTuber.  We occasionally indulge in online distractions provided by YouTubers.  And, as a stay-at-home, work-from-home mother, there is an additional appeal of what if I can make money on the internet? I know that there is money to be made on the internet.  I teach English (as a Second Language) online through Cambly and Hallo. I have also made pocket money reviewing books and captioning videos.  Money can be made online, but it is hard.  And, it isn't always "good money".  In fact, opportunities to make money online in these ways is limited by other people.

Wanting to make money is not enough. I do not blog enough to have a following bigger than a few people.  That's not why I blog.  Will I someday? Maybe.  I don't know.  I blog because I like to write. I don't blog because I don't know what to write.  I hesitate. 

I am silent on a great many things.  Sometimes it is for the better.  Sometimes it is not.

I don't want to be silent.

But, I have anxiety.  What if I am not enough? What if they hate me?

I don't want to be silent.

But, I don't have tough skin.  What if they are trolls? What if they personally attack me?

I don't want to be silent.